Guest Author Contributed by the FurMemor Team
The hardest part of losing a pet isn’t always the goodbye.
Sometimes, it’s what happens afterward.
You come home and almost call their name. You walk past the pet food aisle and notice the treats they used to love. You find a little bit of fur on an old blanket, and suddenly you’re sitting there, remembering things you hadn’t thought about in years.
Everything around you carries on as usual. But home feels different.
People may tell you to keep busy or try to move on. They mean well, of course. But when you’ve shared your everyday life with an animal for so many years, missing them isn’t something you can simply switch off.
And maybe you don’t really want to.
You still want to remember the way they looked at you when you came home. The funny noises they made in their sleep. The little habits that used to drive you crazy but somehow became the things you loved most.
So what do you do with all those memories?
Here are nine small ways to keep them close. You don’t have to try all of them. Sometimes, just one little thing can make a difficult day feel a bit easier.
1. Keep One or Two of Their Favorite Things
After a pet passes away, their belongings can be surprisingly hard to deal with.
The collar hanging by the door. The water bowl in the kitchen. That old toy you’ve been meaning to replace for months.
You might feel ready to put some things away. Or you might find yourself leaving everything exactly where it was.
There’s no need to make all those decisions at once.
If you want to keep a few things, choose whatever reminds you most of your pet. It doesn’t have to be something expensive or beautiful.
Maybe it’s a chewed-up tennis ball your dog carried everywhere. Or the tiny blanket your cat insisted on sleeping on, even though there were much softer places in the house.
Put those things somewhere safe. A small box, a drawer, or a corner of your bookshelf is enough.
One day, you might open that box and smile at something you’d almost forgotten.
And if you’re not ready to look at those belongings yet, that’s okay too. You can leave the box closed.
2. Make a Photo Album, Including the Silly Pictures
If you’re anything like most pet owners, your phone is probably full of photos of your pet.
Sleeping. Eating. Looking out the window. Sleeping again.
There might be twenty nearly identical pictures of your dog lying on the sofa, or an entire collection of your cat sitting inside cardboard boxes.
Keep those pictures.
When you’re putting together a memory album, don’t just choose the prettiest photos. Include the blurry ones and the funny ones too.
The picture where your dog stole your spot on the bed. The one where your cat knocked something off the table and looked completely innocent.
Those ordinary moments say so much about who they were.
You can print a few favorites, make a small photo book, or simply create a folder on your phone.
If you remember the story behind a picture, write it down. Something as simple as “He refused to come inside that day” might make you laugh years later.
You don’t need to organize everything immediately. Start with a few photos you feel comfortable looking at.
The rest can wait.
3. Write Them a Letter
There are always things we wish we’d had more time to say.
Maybe you wish you could have taken one more walk together. Maybe you keep thinking about their last few days. Or maybe you just miss the ordinary feeling of having them nearby.
Try writing them a letter.
It can be about anything.
Tell them what happened today. Tell them the house feels too quiet. Tell them you still look for them when you open the front door.
You might write:
I found your favorite toy under the sofa today.
I still haven’t moved your bed.
I hope you knew how much I loved you.
You don’t have to find the perfect words. Nobody is going to read it unless you want them to.
Some people write one letter and keep it forever. Others write whenever they’re having a particularly difficult day.
You could tuck it into a memory box, keep it in a notebook, or place it beside a photograph.
It’s a small thing, but sometimes writing down what you’re feeling helps when you don’t quite know how to talk about it.
4. Find a Special Place for Their Ashes or a Favorite Photograph
For families who choose cremation, bringing their pet’s ashes home can feel strange.
You know they’re coming home, but you’re not quite prepared for how small the container looks when you finally hold it.
And then comes the question: where should it go?
You don’t need to decide straight away.
Some people keep the ashes in the original container for a while. Others make a little space on a shelf with a photograph, a favorite toy, or a few flowers.
If you’re still thinking through the possibilities, this guide on what to do with your pet’s ashes after cremation explains different ways families choose to keep, scatter, or memorialize their pet’s ashes.
There’s no need to make the space elaborate.
A photograph beside a small vase of flowers can be enough.
Some families prefer something more personal. They might choose an urn engraved with their pet’s name or one that reminds them of their pet’s appearance.
For example, personalized pet urns made from photographs can capture familiar details like a particular coat pattern, floppy ears, or an expression the family remembers well.
But it’s worth taking your time.
You may change your mind about what feels right, especially during those first weeks after a loss.
For now, keeping the ashes safely stored in their original container is perfectly reasonable. Follow the cremation provider’s storage advice until you’re ready to choose something else.
And if you don’t have your pet’s ashes, a photograph or a small keepsake can be just as meaningful.
The important thing is having a place that feels comfortable to you.
5. Give Yourself a Little Time to Remember Them
You don’t need to spend every day thinking about the loss.
But sometimes it helps to set aside a little time when you can remember your pet without worrying about everything else.
Maybe ten minutes in the evening.
You could sit with a cup of tea, look through a few pictures, or talk to them the way you used to.
Tell them about your day. Tell them something funny that happened.
You might feel a little silly at first, talking to a pet who isn’t there anymore.
But plenty of people still find themselves saying their pet’s name out loud, especially when they’re alone at home.
If it comforts you, there’s no reason to stop.
And when you’re ready, you can put the photos away and get on with the rest of your evening.
You don’t have to spend the whole day feeling sad to show how much you miss them.
6. Plant Something in Their Memory
A small plant can be a lovely way to remember a pet.
It doesn’t have to be a big tree in the garden. A flowerpot on your windowsill or a little plant on the balcony works just as well.
Choose something you enjoy looking after.
Every now and then, when you’re watering it or noticing a new leaf, you might find yourself thinking about your pet.
Not necessarily about the day they died.
Maybe you’ll remember how your dog used to dig in the flowerbeds, or how your cat always wanted to investigate anything new you brought into the house.
You can add a small stone with their name, or simply leave the plant as it is.
There’s something comforting about having a little routine that reminds you of them.
If you have other animals at home, make sure you choose a pet-safe plant.
7. Keep Talking About Them
One thing people don’t always mention about losing a pet is how much you miss talking about them.
When they were alive, you probably told stories about them all the time.
You’d complain that your dog had stolen your sock again. You’d send your friend a picture of your cat sleeping in a ridiculous position.
Then one day, there are no new stories to tell.
But the old ones are still there.
Tell your friends about the time your dog refused to leave the park. Tell someone about the strange sound your cat made whenever dinner was late.
Write down the little things you remember.
What was their favorite food? Where did they like to sleep? Did they have a toy they loved more than all the others?
These details might seem unimportant now, but they’re often the things you want to remember later.
And don’t feel guilty if you laugh while talking about them.
You shared plenty of happy moments. You’re allowed to remember those too.
8. Do Something Kind in Their Name
Sometimes, remembering a pet can mean doing something good for another animal.
You could donate a bag of food to a local rescue, help a shelter buy supplies, or support a group that cares for older animals.
If your pet came from a rescue, you might especially like the idea of helping another animal find a home.
It doesn’t need to be anything big.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you have to adopt another pet before you’re ready.
Maybe you simply pass along some unused supplies to someone who needs them.
It’s a quiet way of remembering the good things your pet brought into your life.
The animal you help won’t know your pet’s name.
But you will.
9. Let Yourself Miss Them
This last one isn’t really an activity.
It’s just something worth remembering.
You can do all the things on this list and still have days when you feel terribly sad.
You might cry while sorting through photographs. You might feel fine for weeks and then suddenly miss your pet when you hear a familiar sound.
You might even feel guilty on the first day you realize you haven’t thought about them very much.
None of these feelings means you’re grieving the wrong way.
Everyone has a different relationship with their pet. Everyone has a different way of dealing with loss.
You don’t have to put a deadline on your sadness.
And you don’t need to pretend you’re fine because someone thinks you’ve been upset for long enough.
If you’re struggling, it can help to talk to a friend who understands, or reach out to a pet-loss support group. You don’t have to carry everything on your own.
Some days will be harder than others. Give yourself room for that.
You Don’t Have to Forget Them to Feel Better
Maybe you’ll keep their collar in a drawer for years.
Maybe you’ll make an album and look at it every birthday.
Or maybe, for now, you’ll leave their things exactly where they are because moving them still feels too difficult.
That’s all right.
One day, you may find an old photo and laugh before you cry. You might catch yourself telling a funny story about your pet without feeling that familiar ache quite so strongly.
It doesn’t mean they mattered any less.
They were there for the ordinary parts of your life. The early mornings, the lazy afternoons, the days when nothing special happened.
And somewhere among all those ordinary days, they became family.
You don’t have to find a grand way to remember them.
A photograph, an old toy, a few written words, or simply saying their name from time to time can be enough.
If you’d like to, share your pet’s name with someone today, along with one little thing they used to do.
It’s nice to know that someone else remembers them, too.
